Friday, October 4, 2013

Full Confessional Friday! 10/4/2013


Be it Venial or Mortal (there's no escaping Original), we've all got secrets -- light, dark, funny, sad -- worth bringing to light. The act of confession can be liberating, mollifying and entertaining. Contrition? Repentance? A shot of Tequila? That's your call, sister.  

42 comments:

  1. Hi. So, after a week of not being scolded/picked on/"being in trouble" with my husband, he... bought me flowers.

    I am gobsmacked. My gob? It is smacked. He hasn't given me flowers in, oh, a year? Two? Don't know. And he helped me solve a problem with one of my businesses that my brain was too tired to deal with.

    Hm. Odd. Thoughts?

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    1. My thought is that sounds great. We should celebrate when we get the change we ask for! happy flowers and relief for you. ~Molly

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    2. It sounds to me like he is starting to get it. That's great!

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    3. Hooray! And now, maybe do something nice for him? This sounds like the beginning of a bee-yoo-tiful friendship!

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  2. OOOh, hello Friday.
    Feeling damn groovy.
    Been cooking great food, working out, getting unpacked, not sweating th ebills, because why? We are either going to pay them now or figure out a plan for paying them slowly.

    Husband got annual bonus, 6,000.00 less than expected, despite a record profit year. Apparently they decided that several years ago their was a profit loss and they paid normal bonus's, so this is a delayed reaction. Upside, it isn't a personal issue for my husband, so we don't need to worry that he is on the chopping block, but it does mean the plan to pay off bills is needing..... aggressive editing. Yeah, editing, that is what we will call it.

    But not stressing, because everybody got problems with family, money, kids, parents, cars. Nothing new. Just walking tall and doing what I can.

    Love all you derfs!

    PS : Confession, I read on Pinterest how to make flavored vodka. Everybody over the age is getting flavored vodka for xmas.

    ~Molly

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    1. Molly, that is an a-list Christmas gift in my book.

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  3. Really struggling today. A family at church lost a 4 months old little boy late last week. A friend died early this morning. Since my Mom's death about six weeks ago, I just can't seem to shake this fog that I seem to be living in. These two recents deaths have not helped (Although I truly believe that my Mom reached out to me right after the babies death. It was so very odd. Peaceful but odd.) I have lost 38 pounds in the last six motnhs, but I'm completely unmotivated to get the last 8 or so finished. The exercise schedule that has kept me sane that last few months has no appeal to me this week at all. I'm just in a funk and struggling to get out of it.

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    1. Virtual hugs. Be kind to yourself. Deep grief takes however long it takes, and the repeat opening of your grief through witnessing and experiencing more will take its toll. I think the fog is your heads way of slowing down the process when there is too much to digest at once. So be grateful for the fog, otherwise it would be an anvil!

      Again, hugs.

      ~Molly

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    2. Thanks. You are right, I'm sure.

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    3. Jamie- Cut yourself a break, that is ALOT to process in a short while. The loss of a parent is MAJOR and though you may return to normal activities (or not) emotionally you are different. Be kind to yourself and go slow, do only what you feel up to and leave the guilt at the door. Life comes along and carts us off with it soon enough, and every once in a while our emotions sneak up and blindside us when we aren't looking. Be well and take good care of you and yours. Bramble

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    4. I'm so sorry for your loss and I echo the thoughts of the above commenters...be kind to yourself. Sending good vibes your way.

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    5. Jamie, I think everyone is right here. Give yourself time and a lot of it. I'm so sorry for your lousy, double dose of loss.

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    6. Thank you all. I took your advice and did only what I wanted to over the weekend. So . . . pretty much nothing except reading and sleeping.

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  4. My boys have been on lock down at school yesterday and yet again today - I was/am unnerved that they have had to take those measures because a pedophile is on the loose but happy that I know there are teachers/aides looking after my children and they are safely locked in the school. However, I really don't know if I am handling this part of parenting correctly - whether it is because I am naïve in most things in life or what, but I didn't scare the living daylights out of the boys giving specific details like it seems others did - all I did was say bad guy on loose and you were locked in the school as a precaution to keep you safe! Other parents were saying they shared everything with their child and now they are scared because of this! I just don't know if I should have been more specific or keep them informed but not too informed where life is still the same, just they can't go outside....oh, I just don't know....

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    1. I think you are wise to follow your instinct to only tell them as much as they can handle at their ages.

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    2. Ditto Suburban Correspondent.

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    3. You're doing great, because you know what your kids need.
      Advice our doctor gave us -- teach the kids that no one (including mom, dad, siblings and doctor) should touch them "where a one piece bathing suit" would cover. Tell them it's okay to report, that secrets aren't okay, and that screaming is for danger (not "don't scream"). That combination seems to cover the scary people threat when it comes to personal safety.

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  5. I love the picture today. So fall-like. We had our first snow today (it's not going to stick around because we're back in the 70s again next week) and I am not yet ready for winter. I'd like a little fall sandwiched in there.

    I'm burned out on dealing with Dad Issues. I'm finally in the end game of getting his finances to a state where I can manage them without so many phone calls or trips to the post office, but every single time I try to do anything I run into three more problems. And I'm tired of being patient and making phone calls and having to give my father's birthday to the stupid phone tree three times before I can speak to a human being because no, this issue does not fit nicely into one of their prefabricated categories.

    Never mind that I have issues of my own at home to deal with. Nothing that can't be dealt with (older cat issues, husband has a cold, I'm behind on the filing, etc.), but I have no energy or enthusiasm left. And if one more person tells me something more I should do to "make it better" I am going to scream. I don't have energy to "make it better". I barely have enough to "make it through".

    Sorry, I needed to vent. I'll get through it all, I know I will. But sometimes the steam has to be let off so I don't explode.

    @Molly: flavored vodka is marvelous. I received a bottle of homemade cranberry vodka a couple years ago and enjoyed it immensely. I think your gift list is in for a treat!

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    1. 4 years of dealing with "Dad: issues, I definitely hear you and feel your pain. Glad you vented and maybe the weekend will give you a nice surprise (or atleast a break). Sending hugs because...I know you need them! Bramble

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    2. Bramble, I can't imagine doing this for 4 years....it's been about a year and a half and I'm already going nuts. My hat's off to you!

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    3. TC, is there a way you can take a short vacation? Even just a weekend trip somewhere you can be alone? It sounds like you have compassion fatigue, and after 4 years who wouldn't? Either way, I don't blame you for needing to vent! Vent away!

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    4. Jessie, I'm sorry if I was unclear in my reply - it's Bramble who has been caring for 4 years, and I'm simply in awe of her tenacity. I've only been at it in various forms for about 1.5 years, and it's really getting to me.

      I should also explain that I'm doing mostly the financial legal stuff - my father is in a skilled care facility close to my sister, who is a nurse. To put it bluntly, she figures out what he needs; I figure out how he's going to pay for it. This both adds to the stress and relieves it - it's a relief because I'm not a naturally nurturing person, but since it is 10 hours away I have to do everything remotely (what did we ever do without the internet?!?). We are working really well together.

      Fortunately, we do have a small vacation coming up in November, and I'm looking forward to it!

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    5. I admire you both for soldiering on, really.

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  6. I'm feeling peevish today. And high on the list of peeves is that I seem to be the only person in this house who can take the recycling the 12 feet from the (supposedly) temporary spot in the kitchen to the recycling bin in the garage. And I'm the only one who can turn off the lights in empty rooms.

    Why, yes. There is another adult living here. But I still seem to be the only one.

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    1. 3 of us over age 20, 2 below here. Guess who takes out EVERYTHING? I am going to start letting it pile up at the back door like a NYC trash strike and see if anyone gets the message. What do you say, are you in?! I probably won't be able to stand it as long as they can so ...wishful thinking! You could always place it in front of the bathroom door so they can't get in until it gets moved, I'm going to try that! Hugs in solidarity- Bramble

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    2. I have the same situation at work...it actually piles up like a NYC trash strike....and no on seems to notice. I want to say "Really?" it's almost falling on the floor and you jenga'd another bottle on top?....so, here it's 49 adults who have temporary blindness

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    3. I live with someone who habitually walks PAST the trash receptable to put his empty bottle or can on the kitchen counter.

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    4. Kellyg, I live your reality. Nagging and tearing my hair out in solidarity.

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  7. I'm on the last vestiges of my job search. Someone finally offered me a job! And I'm close to getting another offer! Now I need to chill because I'm getting so stressed over who to choose I can't sleep. I'm sending love and good vibes to all the other Derfs. I hope you're doing well!

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    1. Woo hoo and congrats on nearing the end of your job search! Two offers is great - I'm sure either place would be lucky to have you! And I hope it feels good to be at the end :D.

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    2. Go Jessie! That didn't take long, so we know that means you are exceptional!

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    3. Girl, I'm so proud. Follow your incredible instincts. Your instincts helped me choose my current job, which is really better than anything than I imagined.

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  8. A bit disconcerting...we went to an arts gala tonight, one that we've attended for the past ten years. We sat at a table with donors that we knew, but with a couple of "newbies" including one person who is a new member of the arts organization's board. This person - a woman who has been called "the most important woman in television" - was seated next to my husband. At this gala, they split couples up, but seat them at the same table. I was on the other side of the table and further down, and so I was not in the line of sight of my husband often. But he reported to me that this lady spent most of the evening touching him - putting her hands on his shoulder or even holding his hand! He said that some of the older donors near them seemed to be watching in a troubled fashion. I, of course, noticed nothing, being at the other end of the table and having conversations with other people. He said it was very odd. He finally took his hand away from hers to drink from his water glass, and kept holding his water glass the rest of the night.

    Dang! I told him I thought the bitch should keep her hands off my man or I'd snatch her baldheaded.

    Oh, and k.d. lang performed for us and I got to shake her hand!

    What a weird night.

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    1. So...you had dinner with Carol Burnett or um Tina Fey?

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    2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcy_Carsey

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    3. Really? In a way that's even more exciting. Sometimes I envy you your life Aunt Snow. And your husband

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    4. I haven't heard "snatch her baldheaded" in so many years! I'm with you on it, though, Aunt Snow.

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    5. Okay, that is truly weird. And way to lay it on the line! (I believe husbands need to hear things like that.)

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  9. Wow, that is disconcerting , but it sounds like he handled it well. How was k.d. Lang,was she as great in person as she seems to be? I have always been a fan, love how she is so this is me, take or leave it. And her voice is beautiful!
    The Other Kay

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Shhhh...it's our secret.